Confirmed: The Moon has Water!


Guess what! You know that worthless piece of space rock that spins around us and reflects the sunlight at night? It’s not so worthless any more! Now, along with turning people into werewolves, it holds a hidden stash of water! Now the only thing we need to worry about are water werewolves…

NASA sent multiple probes to our natural satellite earlier this month. They came back with the most surprising news to come from space travel so far. There is water on the moon. It’s not flowing in rivers or underground streams, its all frozen. Send Buzz Aldrin back up there with a blow dryer or a heat lamp and it could be flowing.

What does this mean for us? Since there is water on the moon, we can build a self sustaining moon base. Complete with indoor plumbing! No longer will our astronauts have to use the Space Outhouse. Do you know how hard it is to fight the vacuum of space and poop at the same time?

Once we have a moon base set up we can start our space exploration from there. A base on the moon will shorten some distance between planets, and since the gravity on Luna is less than on Earth we won’t use up as much fuel trying to escape from gravity’s grasp. That way we have more fuel to travel with and won’t have to waste it on the launch pad. Then, once we have moon bases, they can put up an amusement park! Complete with whalers on the moon!

When questioned, the Mooninites stated:

Our moon water is far more superior to your puny Earth water. It not only has twice the elements of yours it quenches twice the thirst…

Hahaha Drink from the Moon, B**ches! H20 times two!

Then they gave NASA the finger and went to scare Boston again.

Sources: MSNBC and io9


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